I'm Hot
by blackbirdxsinging
Summary: A hot summer day can be unbearable to people living in a penthouse in New York. Not really Jude/Max, but lots of both of them. T for language. Oneshot


Because of the heat, eating away at my skull, I decided to write this

_Because of the heat, eating away at my skull, I decided to write this. Because I'm bored._

"I'm hot."

"I know."

"I'm hot."

"I know."

"I'm hot."

"Jesus, Max, will you shut yer yap already?"

He performed a lengthy sigh. "Jude?"

"Yes Max?"

"I'm hot."

Jude stood up off the couch and walked into the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

Jude ignored him as he grabbed a hunk of frozen beef from the freezer. He walked over, the meat thawing quickly in his sweaty hands. He stood up behind Max, lifted it slightly above the blonde's head, and…

"I'm h--"

_CLUNK!_

"OWWWWW!!" The meat fell from his head and to the ground. "Ass." He muttered, picking up the meat and sticking it down his sweaty blue shirt.

Jude laughed a bit and then walked over to the sink. He turned on the cold water and stuck his head underneath. Once all of his dark hair was soaked, he turned the tap off and walked over to the couch next to the one that Max was sprawled out on.

"I'm still hot."

"Oh, give it up." Jude commented.

"Ehhhhhhr." Max grumbled.

Jude took a seat next to Max, shoving his feet out of the way.

"Don't touch me." Max demanded, and Jude laughed. "I'm hot." Max added, to torment him.

"God, you know that you're making yourself hotter when ye talk all day? Just sit still and don't say anything." Jude said, feeling a bit hotter after his statement.

"But I'm--"

"You finish that sentence, I swear to God…"

Max was tempted to do so, however he just let out a breath of air that was equal to both a groan and a sigh.

"You know when you're really hot, and then sometimes you just feel cold for a second, but its just your body… tricking you?!" He yelled the last part with expression.

"Uh, yeah, I guess I do know wha' you mean…" Jude said, not wanting to talk at all.

"Well, I can't do anything fun tonight. If I get any hotter, I might die." He pulled the blue shirt off and shoved the frozen meat down his pants. Jude eyed him suspiciously.

"Mate?"

"What, you've never seen a man shove a hunk of frozen beef down his pants?"

"Uh, I can't say I 'ave." Jude thought for a moment. "Especially not the hunk of frozen beef that I was going to cook for dinner."

"Cook? Are you fucking crazy? Lets go downtown and get icecream if we're hungry."

"Downtown's hotter then up here."

"It'll be Antartica compared to the stove heating up this penthouse." Max looked over at the fan beside him, which sputtered and then stopped spinning. "Christ…" Max mumbled and then stretched his legs so he could kick the fan.

Jude watched as Max's lazy body crashed into the mess of a fan. It started working, but slowly, not enough to make a breeze.

"Guuh." Max groaned, and kicked it again.

The fan stopped spinning.

Max picked up the blue shirt he was wearing and brought it over to the sink. He turned on the cold water and rinsed the sweat out of it. He squeezed the water out and then pulled it over his head.

As he walked back to the couch, he kicked the fan as hard as he could, causing it to topple over. As soon as it hit the ground, it began spinning again.

Jude reached over, picked it up, and aimed in inbetween the two boys, sitting sweaty on the couch.

Max reached over, and moved the fan so it was directing at only him.

"What was that for?" Jude asked, smiling but only half joking.

"What was what for?" Max asked back.

"Movin' the… the fan." Jude said, pointing.

"I didn't move the fan."

Jude stared at him. Then he reached out and moved the fan back to inbetween them.

Max reached out, and moved it back.

"You bastard." Jude laughed, and kicked Max playfully.

"Don't touch me." Max demanded again.

"Don't touch _me._" Jude said back.

"I didn't touch you."

Jude stood up, stretched a bit, and walked around the couch. Max watched him curiously.

He stood directly infront of the fan and gave Max an… 'I'm innocent' look.

"Son of a bitch." Max grumbled, not being able to stop a smile from appearing on his lips. He stood up, and attempted to get around the fan, but Jude only shimmied around it, blocking Max from having any contact of the fan whatsoever. "Oh, come _on,_ please, Jude, I'm cookin'."

Jude patted Max's shoulder, and then walked away from the fan.

Max collapsed on the couch again, sighing.

He looked up at the ceiling. The only place that Jude couldn't reach with his drawings.

He looked over at the table beside him, littered with beer bottles and take out food boxes.

He moved his feet closer to the couch as Rocky (Sadie's cat) crawled by.

"You've got a fur coat, and you still manage to look cold." Max grumbled. "Stupid cat." He added, but Rocky paid no attention.

Max sighed, and looked over at the empty spot on the couch that Jude filled only moments ago.

"Jude!!" Max yelled.

"What??" Jude yelled back, from across the apartment in the bathroom.

"Come here!!"

"Max I… I cant!!" He yelled back.

Max groaned and stood up.

"Why _not?_" He walked over to the bathroom where Jude's voice was coming from. "You decent?"

"More or less." Jude responded, and Max walked in to see Jude missing his shirt and pants, leaning over the bathtub and turning on the tap in his bare boxers.

"Why couldn't you come over and see me?"

"Cuz I was going to 'ave a bath." Jude responded, turning on the tap full blast.

"In this weather? Are you kidding me? You're nuts, you know that? you're a Liverpudlian nut." Jude, tired of Max's blabbling, grabbed his hand and shoved it under the tap.

Max's face lit up when he realized the water was freezing cold. "Ohhh…" He said, and then smiled. He took off his soaking wet shirt, then his jeans, and jumped in.

"Thanks man." Max said, stretching his legs out.

Jude watched him. "You bugger, move over!"

Max pulled his legs up a tiny bit. Jude jumped in, splashing Max.

"This feels _so_ good." Max commented, when the water got up to his neck. Jude reached to turn off the tap and Max dunked his head underwater.

Jude closed his eyes and held out a hand to protect his face from getting wet when Max came up and shook his hair everywhere.

"Yeaah!" Max yelled, and then looked at Jude, who's hair was still dry. He cupped his hands and filled them with water. He dumped then proceeded to dump the water over Jude's head.

Jude closed his eyes as tight as they would go, and remained motionless for a minute. He sputtered the water that was sitting on his lips, and then pulled his hands up to his face to wipe the water out of his face.

"Thanks." Jude said sarcastically.

"You want more?" Max asked.

"No tha--" Before Jude could finish, Max dumped more water over his head.

"Go underwater, already." Max complained, and Jude dunked his head. He, however, didn't shake his head and sprinkle water all over the place.

"Stop kicking me." Jude asked, rubbing water on his arms.

"You stop kicking _me._" Max shot back.

"Okay." Jude stood up, his boxers plastered to his skin.

Max whistled, and Jude replied by sticking up his middle finger.

Jude listened to Max splash around while he grabbed a bathrobe and wrapped himself tightly.

When he was done covering his decency, he watched Max swim around the bathtub like he was three years old.

"Having fun?"

Max looked up, and his happy face faded. "Actually, I'm kind of cold."

Jude smiled. "Come 'ere." He grabbed Max's bathrobe off of the door and wrapped Max in it once he was out of the tub. "There you go. I don't want to hear any more complaining for at least an hour, okay?"

"Okay." Max agreed, and then looked up at Jude. "Ew, you're acting like my mother, or something."

Jude laughed. "Well, somebody has to keep you in control."

Max thought about that.

"Thanks." He said finally.

Jude smiled a bit. He thought about what he said, and whether he was about to joke about it. "No problem, mate." He said finally.

Max nodded, smiled a bit, and then walked out of the bathroom.

Jude looked at the water on the floor, and then over at Max, who was a few feet away from the bathroom.

"Max, you left a mess."

"I know." Max snickered, and then walked away.

Jude looked over. "Arent you going to clean it--" He looked down, mentally kicked himself for not realizing Max's trick earlier, and grabbed a towel and started cleaning up the cold water on the ground.

"I love the bugger, but he makes it so hard." Jude mumbled, reaching under the tub.

He put the towel over the tub and then paused to realize he was sweating hot again. He took off the bathrobe and slipped on his jeans.

There was a short silence before Max yelled—

"DAMN FAN!" And there were sounds of metal clashing against the floor.

Jude smiled. _He can fix his own damn fan._


End file.
